The Santa Clause: Fanfiction
by JWeaver95
Summary: James Weaver is 24, 5'7", chubby, wears Clark Kent style glasses, has amazing blue eyes and is on the chubby side. After two years of hard work, he's finally finished rebuilding his life. New place, new car and a promotion at work making more money. He loves his life. James finds it forever changed though when he accidentally becomes the new Santa.
1. Chapter 1

**The Santa Clause: Fanfiction**

**Chapter 1: A Little Bit About Me**

Another year, another Christmas Eve. 2019 has definitely been my year, I have to say. I bought my very first car for one. Now when I say that, I don't mean that I've never had or owned a car up to this point. I've had the WORST luck with vehicles in the past. When I was a teenager, my family gave me my first car, a 1996 Chevy Lumina. It was my grandparents, then my mothers and then mine. Car didn't last very long of course given that it was only a year younger than myself. After that I had a 2009 Yamaha V-Star 250cc motorcycle. That thing was chain driven and it was a giant pain the ass having to tighten that chain all the time. I foolishly traded it for a 1998 Ford Mustang convertible. Didn't even know how to work the roof.

It leaked excessively and had a habit of popping off even though it was locked in. So I was forced a lot of the time to drive with one hand on the wheel and one hand holding the roof down to reduce the draft in the car. That thing broke down and I ended up selling it for $200 just so I could eat. This was between the years of roughly 2011-2016. That Ford Mustang was the last car I had. Lost my job, sold the car so I could eat and didn't manage to find another job until June of 2017. I was without a job for OVER a year. Well you can imagine how that went. No money, no car, no nothing. Nothing but depression and it's welcome embrace to take the pain away. Anyways, I'm getting a little too deep. This is supposed to be a happy story, not my life's story.

Anyways, got the job in June in 2017 after a year or so of not having one, then I worked my ass off for the next two years. Bought my first dealership car in June of 2017, got a promotion at work several months after that and then moved into a nice three bedroom apartment. Previously I had lived in an income based one bedroom for five years. It was my very first home and was extremely attached to it. Leaving was said, but I knew I was moving on to bigger and better things. So yeah, as I said before, 2019 was for sure my year of achieving a lot of good things in life. I have this mantra I repeat to myself whenever necessary. I am grateful, I am thankful. It helps, it really does.

I'm James. Twenty-four years old and working as a state employee in a mountain lodge restaurant as a waiter within a state park. The promotion was to full time by the way. Previously, I had been working full time hours for part time pay. No benefits or anything of the sort. That all changed when I got the promotion. Full time pay for full time hours, plus tips like with full time and added benefits like health insurance, which I've never had in my adult life before.

So now that you know a little bit about me, I can safely say that I love my life and that I'm ready to enjoy the fruits of my hard work and labor, all the while continuing to work hard and not take anything for granted. It would be foolish of me however to say that nothing could possibly go wrong or shake things up at this point. Constant vigilance as they say!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Christmas Eve**

Given the nature of my job and what it is, I'm required to work all major holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, you get the idea. That's not the case for all state employees, however. Me having to work Christmas Eve like all my coworkers is something that's at my managers discretion. So we all get to work the holidays, not that I'm complaining. Remember, I am grateful, I am thankful. This year I'm closing both tonight as well as on Christmas Day tomorrow. Least I'll get to sleep in. Me and my family plan on doing our Christmas together on my next day off, which is the day AFTER Christmas. It doesn't bother us. I know how some people have to celebrate the holiday on the actual day for the sake of the holiday itself and the magic the day can hold, but for me and my family, it's just all about us being together to celebrate. So we have no problem waiting to do it when I'm not working so that we can spend the whole day together.

Anyways, the night went off without a hitch and finally it was done. I went home, locked myself in for the night, cooked myself a nice, hot meal and settled down to watch some Christmas movies before bed. I have this thing where I like to fall asleep on my recliner. I've already got a pillow and blanket when I'm lounging in it for maximum comfort, so why the hell not, right? So you can imagine how easy it is to fall asleep in it on a full stomach with nothing but the tv and Christmas tree for lighting.

Now normally, I'll usually wake up at any given time after falling asleep on said recliner, grab my things and migrate to my actual bed. That didn't end up being the case for me. Not tonight at least. That brings us up to the present in the very heat of the moment. I shuffle to my bedroom across the living room floor, ready for the warm embrace of my bed and burrowing far under the cozy covers. Just as soon as I'm about to lay down, I hear a sizeable thud. I don't understand what I just heard since I'm half asleep, so I sort of dismiss it. Then I hear it again.

This time I know it's something I shouldn't be hearing.

"What the hell is that noise?" I ask, clearly annoyed.

All I want to do is go to bed and sleep in, then maybe eat something before going to work to close on Christmas Day. There it is again!

"Settle down!" I hear a voice on the roof of my apartment say. It's muffled of course, but loud enough for me to make out.

"Oh fuck," I mutter.

I don't have any weapons to defend myself should whoever is on my room wants to get in. Why the fuck would they be on the roof though? There's no chimney or way in from the top. Unless it's just some Christmas schtick. Someone playing a prank. Or just some druggie who's getting a little to into Christmas.

"Fucking crackheads," I grumble.

They're not dangerous, at least for the most part. I've never personally dealt with one, but I want to know how the fuck they even managed to get on my roof and what they're even thinking they're attempting to accomplish. I slip on my sandals and my favorite light jacket, my only light jacket really and quietly crack open my door. No one on the ground, at least as far as I can see. I open my front door a bit more, looking all around. Nobody that I can see. So whoever it is or however many there are are all on the roof. The voice did tell someone to calm down, so there's that.

I quietly shut my door, but don't lock it. I'll need to get back inside fast should these crackheads end up being hostile after all. I slowly walk forward, stopping once I'm far enough to see what's going on with the roof situation. There's a man dressed as fucking SANTA on my fucking roof.

"Hey you!" I shout at him.

"Ho-oh?!" The man in the Santa suit exclaims in surprise.

I must've startled him good, because he ends up slipping. His ass hits the roof and he slides right down the side. The apartment building I live in only has two other apartments. Yeah, you can't really call it a complex or anything. So it's just a one story building. Longer than it is taller. So it's not that high of a fall from the roof to the ground. However, the roof must've been icy or the spot he slipped on slick, because he slides down the roof like he's on a winter water slide.

He lands right on the concrete parking lot, his head smacking the little slab that marks parking spots. My mouth is completely agap, surprise written all over my face at what has just happened.

"Son on a bitch!" I exclaim myself.

I shake my head, looking at the unconscious person before me. Then again, he hit his head pretty hard. I think I even heard a crack. It's an extreme possibility that he's actually dead already.

"I swear to God I'm not being blamed for this!" I say out loud to myself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cautiously approach, kicking his boot. "Hey! Hey buddy!" I hiss at the man. Nothing. "Okay then. You should just...stay there. Cool," I muse.

The longer I take to call the cops, the worse this looks on me. I can't go to jail! I've just finished rebuilding my life! For fucks sake! Why does this shit always happen to me? I'm distracted by more noise coming from the roof. Fuck, did anyone see what's happened? Is this guys crack buddies gonna come after me now? Good thing I left the door unlocked. I'll dash in really quick and barricade myself in my bathroom or something. I don't know. But I've got to know what I'm dealing with here.

I walk back away from my apartment to get a good look again of who's on the roof. My jaw drops again when I see that it's not more crackheads, but eight reindeer harnessed to a sleigh. I stare like a dumbass for a minute, not noticing the man dressed as Santa. One of his hands waves bye briefly before his body melts away, as if turning into a Force Ghost or something, leaving nothing but his suit and boots behind. I look back to see Santa gone, his clothes being the only thing left behind.

"Please don't tell me this guy is running around naked," I plead with myself as I walk forward and cautiously scoop up his clothes. I do a complete 360 to make sure he isn't within eyesight or fixing to jump me. The last thing I need is for a naked crackhead to assault me outside my apartment after falling off my roof on Christmas Eve. I rummage through the jacket, feeling an inside pocket. I pull out a card. "What's this?" I ask myself as I begin to read out loud. "If something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do."

I blink several times in confusion. Surely this can't be real. Can it? I pocket the card in my sweatpants pocket, shuffling back and forth as I try to figure out what to do. Do I call the cops? What am I supposed to tell them? A crackhead dressed as Santa fell off my roof and is now running naked somewhere? I'm under the impression that most crackheads can do anything, so Lord knows how the hell he managed to get all this on my roof without anyone seeing or knowing.

"I don't even know what to think right now, let alone do," I say to myself. "How the hell am I even supposed to get up there?" Maybe this guy has a ladder around the back or something. Just as I turn to make my way to see, I hit my head. "Fucks sake!" I shout, my voice echoing in the night a bit. It's the dead of night. No one is going to hear me, because everyone should be asleep. I open my eyes after vigorously rubbing my head to see a ladder where nothing had been moments before. "How convenient," I reply sarcastically.

Well when in Rome. Holding onto this guys suit and boots with one arm, I slowly ascend the ladder to the roof. Even taking my time, it doesn't take long for me to reach the top. I make sure to get away from the edge so that I don't repeat the other guys mistake of falling off. Last thing I need is my skull cracked open. Only difference is I'd probably feel it since I'm not hyped up on crack or anything. I keep my distance from the reindeer for just a moment, examining them.

Noise is definitely coming from them, but are they amazing animatronics or are they real? With crackheads, anything is possible I suppose. One of the reindeer lets go a massive fart and almost immediately I'm able to smell it.

"Good God," I take a whiff and make a face. Animatronics couldn't produce a smell Iike that, even with fart or skunk spray. "Fuck," I add. Upon further inspection, each reindeer has there name attached to their respective harnesses. "They're even maimed after Santa's reindeer," I point out even though I'm the only person around right now. "Makes me wonder just what the hell this guy was trying to accomplish."

I turn my attention to the sleigh. It's by no means cheap looking. It actually looks like it's made out of some nice ass material and the craftsmanship is amazing. I whistle as I run my hands over it, feeling how smooth the finish on it is. I'm not a handyman or anything, but any sane person would be able to appreciate the architecture of this sleigh.

"Not bad," I compliment. "Not bad at all." I set the clothes and boots in the sleigh. I look around, as if anyone would be watching me. If this is a prank, it's surely an extremely elaborate one. Maybe Ashton Kutcher will pop out and tell me I'm being punked, dressed in a Santa suit himself. Not likely, but then again, given what's happening, you never know. I slowly slip into the sleigh, sitting down. "This actually seems really comfy," I muse.

The sleigh has a few dials and knobs, with a few blinking and flickering lights. Again, amazing craftsmanship. I wonder how long this took to build, wire all the lights to flash and make it look like the real deal or close to it. Listen to me! The "real deal". I chuckle at my humorous though. Taking things one step further, I gently take the reins in my hands, feeling the rough leather of them, worn no doubt from the many pairs of hands that have handled them.

I gently twerk the reins, pretending that I'm driving the sleigh. Maybe these are trained reindeer? They're doing an exceptional job of staying in place. The harnesses probably help them from wandering off. Still, I can't help but wonder how the hell they all got up here. Reindeer can't fly. I don't want to accidentally set them off though. Last thing I need is to be held responsible for broken reindeer bones when they move forward and fall off the roof.

I sigh, seeing my breath in the cold winter night. Everybody at work is going to freak when I share this story with them. I totally have to take a picture of this! Thankfully, I always carry my phone with me. Wouldn't have made any sense to not take it outside with me. If I hadn't been able to get back to my apartment, I would've just ran and then used my phone to call the police. I pull it out, opening up the camera. I put it in selfie mode and angle it to where I can be seen sitting in the sleigh as well as getting the reindeer in the shot.

I snap the picture, having the flash on since it's the dead of night and dark as hell. The flash startles the reindeer even though they weren't facing it, but they could of course still see it since it's so dark. They grunt and buck, moving forward with surprising speed, even with this undoubtedly heavy sleigh attached to them, as well as the additional weight provided by me.

I yelp as I'm thrown back in the seat of the sleigh, but I'm facing backwards from having taken the selfie. The jolt and movement of the reindeer nearly sent me over the seat and into the back where the sack of toys would be. To my horror, they all jump off the roof and I scream bloody murder, not having been able to get out fast enough to avoid joining them in there nasty fall to the ground. I scrunch my eyes shut, waiting for the quick drop and the sudden stop, already wondering what kind of injuries I'll sustain falling off the roof in a replica of Santa's sleigh.

Only the fall never comes, just the sound of cold wind rushing past my ears. I crack one eye open and then the other, making another noise again as I see what's going on. These reindeer are flying. They're fucking FLYING. I quickly grab onto the reins, attempting to control where they go, but they don't listen to me, no matter how hard I tug and pull to try and make them obey me.

"Stop, stop, staaaahhppppp!" I squeal as they continue to fly at an impressive speed. Not a minute later, they land on another roof in the little town I live in and they do it so smoothly and efficiently that I can hardly believe what I just saw. "Fuck," I say breathlessly, looking around. It's too dark to tell which part of town I'm in, but I know we haven't left it. The reindeer just stand there, snorting and seemingly conversing among themselves while they wait for something.

This roof is an actual roof with a chimney and everything. High up off the ground with a fall that could for sure kill someone if they fell off the right way and if not, definitely injure them severely. I sit there in silence for a few minutes, trying to wrap my mind around what just happened and if this isn't some crazy dream. I don't do drugs, so I know this isn't a trip in my mine. Ya boy ain't no crackhead.

"Sooooo are you guys gonna take me back home or what?" I ask, as if they'll actually answer me. I sigh, wondering what the hell to do now. I glance in the back of the sleigh to see a maroon colored bag. "Must be the bag of toys." I reach over and grab it, pulling it up to where I am in the front of the sleigh. It's lighter than I thought at not bursting to the seams with gifts like it's depicted in some versions showcasing the fat man. That's when it dawns on me. "You guys are waiting for the presents to be delivered!" I conclude.

Of course! It all makes sense. If these are Santa's reindeer, they've been trained to fly to all the houses so that Santa can deliver his presents. They won't move or even budge until this house is given it's presents for the holidays.

"I hate to break it to you boys, but you're boss is gone. Dead probably. I don't know," I say to them. "He went all Fore Ghost perhaps, I don't know," I mutter. I sigh again. FUCK it's cold out here. All I've got on are my pajamas and my light grey jacket. "I wonder…" I pull out the card, reading it over again. Putting on some other person's clothes, not knowing where they've been or anything. Not very sanitary. But it's cold and these presents have to be delivered. Good thing I love Christmas so much. "This has got to be just one hell of a dream," I say to myself as I take off my jacket, the cold winter wind biting at my exposed arms.

I take a look at the pants, holding them out. "Lord, this guy was huuuuugggeeee," I comment. I slip off my sweat pants, making more verbal noises as the cold assaults the exposed parts of my body. I slip on the pants, clearly too big for me and tighten the suspender straps as tight as they can go. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck it's cooooolllddddd," I complain as I slip quickly grab the coat. I put it on, tying the sash around my waist to secure it in place. I slip my sandals off and slip on the boots. They're not too bad of a fit. "Well, how do I look?" I ask the reindeer. "Nice?" I turn back and forth a bit, checking myself out.

I swear I just saw one of the lead reindeer nod its head at me. Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing a hat anywhere. The crackhead Santa who fell off my roof had one, but I don't think I remembered to grab it when I picked everything else up. Wearing someone else's clothes is one thing, especially without them being washed between wearers. But I think I subconsciously forgot to take the hat because I don't fancy wearing someone else's hat and getting headline, thus resulting in me having shave my head. Nu uh. No thank you.

"I know I'm nowhere near as big as your former boss, but how the hell am I supposed to fit down that thing?" I ask the reindeer. I don't know why I keep talking to them like this, as if they'll have the answers for me. "How did HE even fit down this thing and what about places that don't have chimneys like may place? What, was he gonna make one appear? Does he have a magic key that lets him enter people's houses or something?" As expected, I get no help from the reindeer.

I shrug, grabbing the bag. If Santa can do it or whatever, then maybe I can. Seconds after grabbing the bag, it begins to float. Not just float, but rise really. I watch as it continues to rise above my head. Is this thing fucking full of helium or something? I hold on tight to the string of the bag, wrapping it around my fist to increase my grip on it so that it doesn't float away like a fucking balloon. Much to my surprise, the bag continues to rise and begins taking me along with it.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! What the fuck!" I exclaim. I grab onto the railing of the sleigh with my free hand. How the hell is this happening? A bag of toys isn't supposed to float, let alone be able to support the weight of a fat ass like me. Is this what happened to Santa? This seemingly magical bag having the power to lift his big bum off the ground and into the air. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" My grip slips with it being so cold and the bag having a powerful pull.

My grip is broken and all my weight is being supported by the bag with me holding onto the string with one hand. So this is it? Death by huge ass fall. I won't be able to hold onto this bag forever. Either it'll stop floating or I'll lose my grip or get tired. No matter what, I'll fall to my death. Instead of continuing to rise, once my booted feet are clear of the sleigh, the floating bag takes me over to the chimney, hovering over the opening for a few seconds.

"Oh, so death by chimney instead of falling to my death," I say out loud. "Suffocation or something. I guess this is preferably over falling," I muse as the bag begins to descend, me along with it.

I begin to breath heavily, not knowing what to expect. As soon as my feet hit the chimney, it's like my body begins to soften. The best way to describe it is like jelly. My body and the suit I'm wearing conforms to the shape of the chimney, fitting inside without any room to spare, a literal perfect fit. Even my torso does the same as I smoothly sink into the chimney. I start to get exceptionally nervous when I'm down to my shoulders in the chimney with only my head visible.

Soon however, my entire body is down the chimney and I'm surrounded by black, coal like darkensss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Making Deliveries**

Just like that, it's over. I'm inside the house of the roof I just landed on with this damn sleigh and those fucking reindeer. My whole body shudders, like when you get that weird sensation that just kinda spreads all around from doing something or something happening that just doesn't feel natural. "Weird," I mutter, making a face as I step out of the fireplace. Thankfully there's no fire going. I have to duck down a bit, but nothing extreme. The fireplace at work is a two story fireplace, which I'm more used to.

I examine the room I'm in briefly. Tree, milk, cookies, just waiting for me to do this job. I walk over to the tree, opening the bag as I do. I take a peek, pulling out a few presents and simply adding them to what's already there, no doubt put there by the parents of this place while the children rested, all snug in bed, while visions of sugar plums undoubtedly danced in there heads. I walk over to the table with the milk and cookies.

"Ah, classic chocolate chip." I take a bite, nodding in approval. Not too soft, but not too crunchy. Still fresh, baked just before bed time no doubt. I leave the milk, as I personally don't drink it. I'm not lactose intolerant, it's just that...well I just don't like the taste of milk. That's the best way I can explain it. I double check the bag, but there's nothing else in it. "Shit, maybe this was the big guys last stop or something," I chuckle jokingly. Just before I'm about to head back to the chimney, I stop, looking around. "Wait a minute, I know this place," I say to myself.

I've not actually stepped foot in this house before, but the surroundings look familiar. I've seen this place somewhere before, but where? Facebook and Snapchat come to mind.

"Oh fuck, this is Cierra's house," I whisper harshly to myself.

Cierra is my adoptive older sister. We're not blood related, but we're as close as two people can be. We love each other to death and I've just delivered presents to her four boys on Christmas Eve dressed in an oversized Santa costume. I exhale, not believing this. What're the odds, eh?

"Well, Merry Christmas big sis," I whisper before walking back to the fireplace.

I duck down and step inside, the bag beginning to float until it lifts me off my feet, taking me up without a hitch. It spits me out of the chimney, setting me back down in the sleigh. Well at least it doesn't make me way once I'm out.

"Alright then. How do I get this thing going again?" I ask out loud curiously as I set the now empty bag in the back of the sleigh. I take the reins, whipping them. "Hyah!" I exclaim as the reindeer take off, a lot smoother than when they left my roof I might add. "Just like that!" I shout happily. Not even ten seconds later, they land on a roof across the street, having done a turn around. "Woah…This is going to be a REALLY long night," I rub my forehead. So much for Cierra's place being the last on the Christmas Eve run.

I look all along the roof, but there's no chimney of any kind.

"No chimney, bag empty. How're we not done yet?" I ask out loud as Comet grunts at me. "That's not helping," I say to him matter of factly. "You're telling me you know what to do big boy?" I ask him in a condescending tone. "Did you happen to notice there's no chimney? Where there's no chimney there's no fireplace. Plus the bags empty, see?" I pull the bag from the back of the sleigh, only to realize it's been filled once more.

I look in the back, but there's no elves or anyone that could be hiding or refilled the bag. I open it up, putting my head inside. Well I'll be fucked. More presents! I make a face that says, "Really?" I breathe in slowly and let it out slowly, watching my cold breath pour outwards.

"Of course," I mutter. "Of course. Alright Comet, what's the plan?" I ask him, as if he'll actually be able to answer and I understand him in turn. "Nothing. Yeah, that's what I thought." More condescending from me. Still the bag begins to lift, taking me into the air, only I don't resist like I did the first time. "Oh come on! Really?" I say out loud as it positions me over the top of a small pipe. "What the fuck, are you even listening? Are you some sentient, magical item like Doctor Strange's cloak?" I ask. "There's no fucking chimneyyyyyy!" I yell at the bag, even as it begins to lower me.

Oh, I can't wait to see how this turns out. Sarcasm of course. Defying the laws of physics even more, my body turns into jelly once more, more so than before as it begins to fit inside this small ass pipe. I close my eyes, not enjoying this part and before I know it, I'm standing in a huge fireplace inside the home.

"How the—never mind," I say to myself.

Clearly this has got something to do with more magic, but I don't have the time or patience right now to figure this out. This is either one hell of a dream or it's real and I've gotta fucking be back to work in the morning. So I'd just like to get this done and go home and get as much sleep as possible before having to get up and work Christmas Day. I begin taking the presents out of the bag, setting them down under the tree.

"Santa?" A small voice calls.

I freeze, slowly turning to see a tiny little girl with a pillow and blanket sitting up on the couch. Probably fell asleep there waiting for Santa. I can only imagine the disappointment she feels at seeing a young fat man in an overgrown suit putting presents under the tree instead.

"James is my name, actually," I say as politely as I can muster. Talk about awkward.

"How come your clothes are so big on you?" She asks curiously.

"To be honest with you, my tailor kind of sucks," I reply almost immediately. That's just how I am.

"How come your beard isn't white?" She asks me.

"Well I'm not old enough to even be close to something like that, so yeah," I answer.

All perfectly valid questions from a curious little girl as to why a fat young man is delivering presents instead of the stereotypical fat white bearded, rosy cheeked holly jolly man. I finish setting out the presents, walking over to the table where the milk and cookies are supposed to be. There's milk, but there's veggies instead. I peruse them for just a moment. The fact they have peanut butter on them makes it a bit easier. I take one stick of celery even though I've literally never eaten it in my entire life before and bite into it. Not bad, but the peanut butter makes it bearable.

"You're supposed to drink the milk," the little girl insists as I'm walking towards the magical, makeshift fireplace that appeared so I could enter the home.

"Look, you're a nice kid," I begin. "But I personally don't drink milk. It's not that I'm lactose intolerant, it's just that...well I just don't like milk," I do my best to explain to her. "It's the thought that counts kid, so thanks. Maybe some ginger ale or something next year, eh?" I ask with a smile. I step into the fireplace, but the bag doesn't do anything. It's at this moment I realize the little girl on the couch is still staring right at me. "Shut your eyes, please," I request of her kindly. She does as I ask. "Go, go, go," I whisper as the magical bag whisks me up the makeshift chimney, the fireplace and what not disappearing as if it were never there.

The rest of the night is spent delivering the rest of the presents to other various houses both in the little town I live in and other places in America. It's the same thing with each house. I empty the bag and by the time I get to the next house, it's magically refilled with the specific presents that are to go to the next house the reindeer stop at. I have honestly no idea what the method to the madness is as far as stopping at what houses go and what not, but the reindeer seem to know what they're doing. It's just like that card said I guess. _If something should happen to me, put on the suit, the reindeer will know what to do_.

Finally, after what seems like forever, the sun begins to rise, signaling the end of the night. The reindeer haven't stopped in awhile and the bag remains empty, so I guess our work here is done.

"We're done here Comet," I say with a laugh. "Back to the house please," I ask of him and his teammates. "Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight! When I wake up, I'm getting a cat scan!" I yell out, my voice echoing as the team of eight reindeer fly off into the clouds. They've taken me this far, I trust them to take me all the way back home. They're surely smart enough. Clearly they've been trained.


End file.
